How cognizant are you of what you say is directly related to the outcome you’ll get. If you continually speak of your life in terms that describe it as if you “never” feel good, things “never” turn out right, or “nothing” positive comes your way, you’ll more than likely end up being right.
It takes less energy to feel good than it does to feel bad. However, our biology, our parenting and our environment also have a part in our perceptions about how we engage in life. Negativity is like a big black hole with slippery sides. Once you fall in, it takes a lot of effort to crawl back up. There are also many people who become accommodated to the security of negativity. Our brains become habituated to our stories. One of my favorite metaphors for the above is “When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging!”
It takes vigilance to be the guardian of thoughts, words and deeds; and you’re often at the mercy of years of conditioning that make you operate as if you’re on autopilot. The Buddhists say that “all suffering of mankind is produced by attachments to a previous condition of existence.” When you use language such as “if only,” “ I wish,” or “I can’t,” you’re dismissing the possibility of today in order to maintain the familiarity of the past or to assuage a fear of the future. You may think it’s easier to stay in an unhappy relationship or job or maintain habits that don’t serve you, but ultimately you’ll suffer the consequences.
Try to surround yourself with individuals who are supportive, but also can help you see solutions to your problems. A really good friendship allows for honesty, not the kind that is hurtful or self-serving, but one that offers straightforward, empathic advice from a loving place.
I don’t want everyone around me to agree with everything I do or say, and neither should you. We need to be called on our crazy stuff, otherwise, it will take on a life of its own and there won’t be room for anyone else. So many of us use familiar lines to keep ourselves stuck.
Here are some common statements that keep you limited, withered and stuck in a black hole; they’re followed by my irreverent comebacks:
— “I always get the slow line.” Well, I guess you’re destined to grow old in a line. — “It’s going to be a long day.” That’s interesting, I thought most days contained the same amount of time.
— “I only have two hands.” Wow, what an epiphany.
— “You never listen to me.” Why should I, you just keep saying the same thing over and over.
— “I’m only one person.” Really, I thought you were triplets.
Keep in mind that if you say your negative thoughts out loud and increase their potential, you will also start to see some humor in your thought process.
— Author, humorist, PBS star and Fortune 500 trainer Loretta LaRoche lives in Plymouth, Massachusetts. To share your pet peeves, questions or comments, write to The Humor Potential, 50 Court St., Plymouth, MA 02360. Visit her website at stressed.com.